Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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