its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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