I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
