We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
did you just send me my own nude
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
