New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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