yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
