I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
