1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
