I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I lost the right to judge tonight
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
