i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
