I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
