What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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