Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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