Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
