Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Duck Duck Cougar?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
