Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
tell me about the eggs
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
