Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
