We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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