Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
