She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I woke up under a house in Key West
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