Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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