I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
