I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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