i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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