she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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