She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
