The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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