I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
