Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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