first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
