I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
