I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
