it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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