he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
