is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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