Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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