Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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