Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
