I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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