someone threw a dead crab at me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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