Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
