Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
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His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
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On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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