You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
