if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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