Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
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nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
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I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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