in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
