how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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