Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
