can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
