I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
