would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
