Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
