she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
