shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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