I must be too annoying 4 u.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
