To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
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The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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