yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
