his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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