the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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