my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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