yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
