if only i could text you this smell
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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