You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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