I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Randomize
