listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
