porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
