no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You are the jesus of drinking
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
