Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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