It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
no you cant smoke seaweed
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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