She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm passing your future prison.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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